Man I love arriving in third world countries, especially those on or nearer the equator. The smells, the noise, the incessant buzz of construction, the vast array of dilapidated building or those with the tenuous label of 'Work in progress'. Anyone who has travelled Asia will know what I mean.
Even in a relatively progressive and cosmopolitan location like Panama City we still find a small culture shock, more like a culture nudge I guess. Things that we take for granted in our well managed 1st world lives are generally not the norm outside of our safe existence. Un-Concealed electrical cables, open cables in a bathroom, gaping holes in the sidewalk designed to swallow up unsuspecting visitors - all parts of everyday life here.
Take headlights on a vehicle for example, pretty standard these days across the world. We even use them in daylight hours for that 'Extra' bit of security(not that a switched on headlight ever stopped a 10 ton truck from running over you). However here in Panama they are more of an 'optional extra' depending on who you travel with!
Enter "Super Mario", cab driver of choice for my digs here in Panama City. Great sign with my name on it at the airport, held by a rotund, disheveled, gentle faced transportation expert, my man - Super Mario. Super Mario's cab has seen better days, it is yellow but not as yellow as it used to be. It has 4 doors and a boot but only the front 2 doors open. It has air con but the engine is so badly messed up he can't run the air con as it causes the car to stall when at stop streets. No worries, fresh air is better anyway.
Fired up and ready to go with a belch of smoke and the sound of an engine about to implode on itself we lurch out of the parking lot. It's a strange sensation sitting in a moving vehicle at 11pm traveling at what feels like 70 miles an hour with no illumination whatsoever, either inside or outside the vehicle. A bit like traveling through a vacuum with your eyes closed...
So, now barreling down the motorway in relative darkness(Super Mario uses the 2 foot following distance method to overcome his vehicles lack of external illumination) I notice that further ahead there is a toll plaza for the highway. Silly me, thinking in a staid old 1st world way that we would slow down, carefully approach the narrow, concrete barrier lined toll lane, pay a nominal fee and be on our merry way, fool I am.
Super Mario peals out from behind our source of illumination, chooses an open toll lane, lowers his speed to what must have been a mere 60miles an hour, lines the cab up for the lane and then takes his hands off the steering wheel! Fortunately I'm not a nervous passenger(if it's your ,time, it's your time) but at this stage I must admit that I was contemplating my own mortality! Our kamikaze cab driver now starts waving his hands as if casting a spell on the toll boom, chanting something in Spanish all the while with a big grin on his face. Needless to say, 2 seconds from impact and certain doom the boom swings up, Super Mario grabs the steering wheel and we are through. The joys of RFID chips in vehicles....
Once through we find another source of illumination and continue our high speed dash for the city center. When we get to the second toll booth, Forrest is all nonchalant and even joins in with the whole 'let go of the steering wheel and cast a spell on the boom' process! 20 minutes later I am safely deposited at my chosen destination by a happy and adequately reimbursed cab driver.
Last I saw of him, a cloud of engine smoke engulfed his darkened vehicle as he drove off. Maybe he operates in stealth mode. Happy travels Super Mario.....
Even in a relatively progressive and cosmopolitan location like Panama City we still find a small culture shock, more like a culture nudge I guess. Things that we take for granted in our well managed 1st world lives are generally not the norm outside of our safe existence. Un-Concealed electrical cables, open cables in a bathroom, gaping holes in the sidewalk designed to swallow up unsuspecting visitors - all parts of everyday life here.
Take headlights on a vehicle for example, pretty standard these days across the world. We even use them in daylight hours for that 'Extra' bit of security(not that a switched on headlight ever stopped a 10 ton truck from running over you). However here in Panama they are more of an 'optional extra' depending on who you travel with!
Enter "Super Mario", cab driver of choice for my digs here in Panama City. Great sign with my name on it at the airport, held by a rotund, disheveled, gentle faced transportation expert, my man - Super Mario. Super Mario's cab has seen better days, it is yellow but not as yellow as it used to be. It has 4 doors and a boot but only the front 2 doors open. It has air con but the engine is so badly messed up he can't run the air con as it causes the car to stall when at stop streets. No worries, fresh air is better anyway.
Fired up and ready to go with a belch of smoke and the sound of an engine about to implode on itself we lurch out of the parking lot. It's a strange sensation sitting in a moving vehicle at 11pm traveling at what feels like 70 miles an hour with no illumination whatsoever, either inside or outside the vehicle. A bit like traveling through a vacuum with your eyes closed...
So, now barreling down the motorway in relative darkness(Super Mario uses the 2 foot following distance method to overcome his vehicles lack of external illumination) I notice that further ahead there is a toll plaza for the highway. Silly me, thinking in a staid old 1st world way that we would slow down, carefully approach the narrow, concrete barrier lined toll lane, pay a nominal fee and be on our merry way, fool I am.
Super Mario peals out from behind our source of illumination, chooses an open toll lane, lowers his speed to what must have been a mere 60miles an hour, lines the cab up for the lane and then takes his hands off the steering wheel! Fortunately I'm not a nervous passenger(if it's your ,time, it's your time) but at this stage I must admit that I was contemplating my own mortality! Our kamikaze cab driver now starts waving his hands as if casting a spell on the toll boom, chanting something in Spanish all the while with a big grin on his face. Needless to say, 2 seconds from impact and certain doom the boom swings up, Super Mario grabs the steering wheel and we are through. The joys of RFID chips in vehicles....
Once through we find another source of illumination and continue our high speed dash for the city center. When we get to the second toll booth, Forrest is all nonchalant and even joins in with the whole 'let go of the steering wheel and cast a spell on the boom' process! 20 minutes later I am safely deposited at my chosen destination by a happy and adequately reimbursed cab driver.
Last I saw of him, a cloud of engine smoke engulfed his darkened vehicle as he drove off. Maybe he operates in stealth mode. Happy travels Super Mario.....
You had me in stitches!!
ReplyDeleteLove reading your blog Andrew, thanks for sharing!!!
ReplyDelete